THAT DAY:
Thursday, December 17, 2009
dontcry.dontcry.dontcry
at least
we talked.well, not the way we used to.but it's ok.at least we talked.
was here @ at
THAT DAY:
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
dontcry.dontcry.dontcry
breaking down...
i'm loosing control....
was here @ at
THAT DAY:
Saturday, June 20, 2009
dontcry.dontcry.dontcry
what a revelation!
i've been viewing the girl's profile in freindster.
she's quiet pretty yes but not as pretty as the first time i saw her online.
she's 24 and she studies in CNU.she didn't have much to say in her profile and i think she's not fond of doing that.well,the song that Mr.X gave me was the same song that's in her media box.she say's there that it's for forever.i certainly hope so.
as i was viewing her photos a zillion times, i noticed for like a longer time than i should have that i know somebody in her photo.it's ate sally and chariza.both of them are my churchmates.i guess they were somewhat like relatives.
this is such a shocking revelation.now a lot of my questions will surely be answered.
and by the way, her name is daisy jane.
was here @ at
THAT DAY:
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
dontcry.dontcry.dontcry
here's how i found it out
i've seen him in my "who's viewed me" in my friendster so i got the guts to send him a message and a comment. i said to him that i find the time that we had in merida very wasted because it was supposed to be the time when i'll finally get the answers to all my questions. but i also told him that maybe it was not wasted at all, maybe it was just not the perfect time for me to know the answers yet.before i did that, our common friend sent me a message with the phrase: "love pa nimo sya dai.,.,.,hehehe..." well then, i asked him if it was a question or a statement. i also said that if it's a question the answer is yes but if it's a statement i'll agree with him. in addition to that, i also told him that however i felt for him does not really matter to him now.
after i sent him the message, i viewed his old account and i was squeezed when i saw an album entitled, "me and my mommy".omg!that's the only word that came out to my mouth.though i was already sure what it was and who that girl could be in his life, i sill viewed the photos in that album just to confirm the obvious truth."oh my God!oh my God!oh my God!"well, what more can i say? i need someone to talk to that very moment but i can't find one.ate joy was there but she was too happy that time and i don't want to ruin her disposition. so when she came out all i did was i gave her the biggest smile that i could have and gave her a good wish of enjoyment in her date. so i just sent him a message saying that the album that he posted summed up all the answers to my question and i assured him that i was ok and cool and that i won't be freaking out.i also asked him to love the girl and begged him not to try in hurting the girl ever.
i was about to sent my friend a message about what happened but the thought that facing the same social networking where i found the truth is just so unbearable.so i went out and my brain is commanding me to go to the apartment.maybe somebody's there.when i was in the tricycle,my tears are crazy kicking to pour out.i prayed that i couldn't cry there and i said to God that i need someone to talk to and asked Him to let somebody be in the apartment.when i finally got there,nobody was there.so i finally cried on my own. it just hurts so much. i don't think any word in the dictionary could define the pain that i felt that time. and nobody could.
well,surprisingly i managed to show the people that surrounds me that nothing happened.i still managed to show them the smile that they always get from me.
it was a Wednesday night and i need to be in the church.it was the talk that i,mommy bless and ate joy had. mommy knew it at tuesday night so she haven't told me about it yet.anyways, i told them how i found it out and i finally said,"the girl is very pretty, as in!"
was here @ at
THAT DAY:
Sunday, June 14, 2009
dontcry.dontcry.dontcry
last wednesday
i was in my friend's internet cafe because my mama asked me to have their photos scanned.so i went their and waited for my friend to come in the cafe.while i was waiting for him,i logged in to my friendster account so i can reply my friends' comments and messages their like i always do everytime i am in that place.
well,guess what i found out.he has a new girl already.
how did i feel?
i'll blog it next time...i'm not capable of telling the world how much it hurts yet.
was here @ at
THAT DAY:
Sunday, May 17, 2009
dontcry.dontcry.dontcry
the day we suppose to have
but it's not ours anymore..
it's the past's alone...
and there's nothing left for me to say now but..
the same days like this is not ours anymore and...
it belongs to the past alone..
was here @ at
THAT DAY:
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
dontcry.dontcry.dontcry
what happened?
It’s 3:52am and I am trying to write a poem or a story or whatever that can lead me to write something about my confusion of how you faded away with just a click. I created the title “what happened?” but really don’t know how to start the right way. All I know is that I still could not make my self move on from the disappearing act that you made that made me think every day of my life what really happened to you, to us.
It’s 4:00am and still can’t think of what to write first because the first thing that we had was so sweet and now I couldn’t tell how it became so bitter.
It’s 4:06am and I can’t think of anything that I’ve done that made you leave me this way – hanging. The last phone call that I had with you was ok and you even told me we’re gonna meet on a Monday but I never understand why you didn’t tell me that you can’t show up.
It’s 4:11am and I’m listening to the song that you introduced to me which is entitled forever. Now the song was done but I’m not done yet in thinking of why you gave me that song when in the first palce you cannot sing it to me but instead you just walked away without even a sound.
It’s 4:19am and I can’t help but think how stupid it was of me to give my heart to you. I wish you were here when I cried so you will know how sorry you should be in turning your back on me.
It’s 4:23am and my speaker is busted. I realized that it took me three years of mending my broken heart by myself and then when it was completely fixed you took it and you did not tell me that it's you who will breake it again; instead you kept your mouth shut and went away.
It’s 4:35am and I’m staring at my monitor. I remember when I told you that I know you will someday be gone and you insisted a hundred times that you won’t be and now I can’t believe that you’re just really gone.
It’s 4:41am and here’s your song again. A flashback came to me just now when we’re outside the garden and I wrote the words “just stay” at the back of the picture that asked from me. I was too honest to believe that you’ll really stay. Well, where are you?
It’s 4:50am and I’m too sleepy already. I’m thinking of changing the title though. And here I am, thinking that nothing’s gonna change now. You leave me and I’m left here still thinking of why you were suddenly gone. I am ever praying that God will let you talk to me and make me understand what really happened to you.
It’s 4:55am and my papa is already awake. Still, I have this same thought everyday, that I don’t want you back but I still love you, that I don’t need you but I badly miss you.
It’s 5:00am and I need to sleep now.
was here @ at
