there is this God's creation that took my heart.
i let him do it.
i don't have any regret of doing it because i know deep
inside me that i can trust him.
ask me why and i'll say that i do because i can see through
his inward parts that he's sincere,true, and he's not capable of hurting me.
he said he'll stay with me forever.
i believe it.
i love him.
i felt so much joy when he came in.
but something happened.
the usual thing that happens everytime i meet somebody
i want to be with.
they want me to cut it off.
i don't understand why they always do it.
i don't know why and how coud it be so wrong.
it hurts me so deeply that i don't have the enough
strength to reason out and shed the tears that i need to.
it is totally unfair but the pain is too much that it made me
too weak to argue, even just in my mind.
so i said ask God why is this thing happening?
a couple of tear shed from my eyes but that's all i got.
nothing else has came out.
i don't really know when will i get answers.
beacuse of this uncertainty all the words that
i said to the Lord at our prayer time after our practice
was, "let me see the things that You want me to see and do the
things that You want me to do. but for now, comfort me please.
You see my heart and read my thoughts. You know how deep my
pain is. You alone understands how i feel and think. You understand
every little thing about me. and You alone can do something about this
because i myself have no idea on how to deal with this. thank You for
knowing me inside out. "
the people that sorrounds me have not sense where i'm in right now.
but it's ok. i don't want them to know in the first place anyway.
they won't understand for sure. maybe they will but i too tired of
talking about it because it drains me.
i say it's ok. i have a friend that definitely knows my feelings without asking
and directly comforts me al through out.
