Ian, my seatmate in GenPsych and one of my close classmates. Ma’am Bona was still confirming report schedules with my classmates so I got the chance to talk to Ian about what happened. He too was suspecting my guy. But then again, I don’t want to think about it because my brain is not capable of accepting it because of the way I knew him. So again, we went to some considerations, but still, it came out that it really wouldn’t be considerable unless my second consideration really happened.
1pm, it was still one of the things that I was thinking of. I sat with Princess at the same place I sat with my best friend in the morning. She’s one of the nice people I know and she’s my classmate. I asked her about it and said the same thing as Ian and my best friend said. I really don’t want to think that he doesn’t like me anymore but if he does, I’m pretty sure that I’ll be ok.
I did not receive any text from him the whole day. When I was on my way home until I arrived, the things that happened to us last week flashed back to me: he didn’t bring his phone with him after their game because he went out with his teammates. This is the thing that I really don’t understand about him. Why does he do that? What if somebody will ring him for an emergency? Or what if me, his girlfriend, would want to text him or call him? Is his ‘hanging-out’ with his friends very important that he doesn’t want any interruptions? Just like what happened last Thursday. I was at the apartment and I planned to call him at 11pm. I informed him first that I will call him. I sent him 3 messages but he didn’t reply so I thought maybe they still had a game or whatever they’re being called to do as players. I kept on ringing him but he did not answered until 2am.I just felt so bad but sad to say I had not spit it out to him. It felt so heavy but I just don’t know why I did not tell him how I exactly felt. There were things that we talked about that made it clear about the things that I don’t like. But of all those things were just like said for him to know. I told him that need not to worry about it because it is really up to him if he’ll do something about it or don’t. I’m not demanding anything from him because I’m not that kind of person. I know where to place my self in other people’s life.
So much of the flash back things, I have thought of something that I want to ask my friends opinion about. I want to break up with him. I want to give him the freedom that he once had. In this case, he wouldn’t worry anything about what I’ll say about everything that he’s doing in his life. He can do whatever he wants to do without considering my feelings. He can leave his phone in peace whenever he wants to knowing that nobody will text or call him that he’s obligated to reply or answer back. In the same way, I won’t worry about anything just the way I live my life before. I know it would be hard but I am also sure as certain is that I will be ok.
